UFC 137: The Nick Diaz Show

The UFC invaded Houston last weekend, and while the card was missing the presence of the World’s Most Dangerous Quebecois, Georges St. Pierre, the main event delivered fireworks as promised. BJ Penn and Nick Diaz put on the UFC’s Fight of the Night, each taking home an extra $75,000 for their efforts.

But before we all enjoyed that fight, there were four middling undercard fights to savor.

Hatsu Hioki vs George Roop

Hioki looked very slick with his takedowns and transitions, but never really mounted any sustained pressure from the top. I was very impressed with how Roop stifled Hioki’s clearly superior jiujitsu – Roop didn’t just clutch and stall, he protected his limbs and never let Hioki get comfortable – even when Hioki had mount, Roop was never seriously in danger. Hioki spent almost all his time looking for submissions. On the feet, Roop clearly controlled the range and pace of the fight, but he struggled to keep the fight standing and didn’t scramble back to his feet very well.

Overall, the fight didn’t dazzle, but there were some tense moments. It was extremely close, and though either fighter could have won this one, Hatsu Hioki wins by Split Decision. Hioki didn’t live up to the hype, but I look forward to his next bout in the UFC, where he might fight someone his own size.

Jeff Curran vs Scott Jorgensen

If Roop was surprisingly competent at defending himself on the ground, Curran was surprisingly game on his feet. He threw haymakers and never really set up his strikes, but he showed good head movement and stayed out of danger. Jorgensen, for his part, dictated where the fight would happen, but never got to unleash his ground and pound. Credit Curran for attacking with submissions and frustrating Jorgensen’s positioning at every turn. Curran was every bit as fearless as his 48-fight resume would suggest; he winged punches at Jorgensen with malicious intent but missed consistently.

Again, not the most exciting fight, but Curran was certainly more game than I thought he would be. He never looked to be in trouble, though he didn’t exactly threaten Jorgensen, either. Jorgensen was definitely a bit overwhelmed with Curran’s guard – I was surprised by how offensive it was.

After all was said and done, Jorgensen wins by Unanimous Decision. Here’s hoping he works on posturing up in active guards before his next fight.

Roy Nelson vs Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipović

This fight saddened me on two points: one, Nelson slimmed down (a bit) – now he’ll never get that Burger King endorsement! Two, Cro Cop got knocked out by Santa Claus’s younger redneck brother. All joking aside, Cro Cop looked better than he has in recent fights. He landed some great shots in the first round, including a head kick(!) that sent the crowd howling. However, Nelson’s chins are made of solid Jell-O, and he weathered the storm. Cro Cop even managed to survive on the ground, if by “survive” you mean “was put in a crucifix but saved by the bell.”

Early in the third round, Nelson caught Cro Cop with a couple of punches that wobbled everyone’s favorite Old Man, and Nelson showed off his tenacity on the ground with some vicious punches from the top. The referee stepped in and Nelson wins by TKO at 1:30 of Round 3. After the fight, Filipović announced his retirement, and I really really hope he stays retired.

Cheick Kongo vs Matt Mitrione

Ugh. Heavyweights. After a first round nearly devoid of anything resembling “contact,” the second and third round looked more like a sparring session than co-main event. Kongo didn’t feel the need to stalk Mittrione, and Mittrione only forced the action a handful of times. If this fight was Mittrione opportunity to establish himself by stomping on the heavyweight division’s gatekeeper, he dropped the ball. Seriously dude, you got outwrestled by Cheick Kongo! He just did you a favor – the actual top tier of this division would eat you alive.

In the worst fight of the night, Kongo wins by Unanimous Decision, but the real winners are the people that didn’t watch it.

BJ Penn vs Nick Diaz

This fight was fantastic. BJ showed up for exactly seven minutes like he always does at welterweight, and for those seven minutes, the fight was a blockbuster that made me wish it was a five round affair instead of just three rounds. Then BJ gassed and Diaz did what Diaz does when someone stands in front of him: death by five thousand punches. BJ Penn’s face was a testament to the efficacy of arm punches in a sport with four-ounce gloves. Diaz never throws haymakers, he just throws. And throws. And throws. I wonder what this fight could have been had BJ showed up (1) in shape or (2) not undersized.

It doesn’t really matter, because BJ announced his retirement immediately after the fight, after Diaz wins by Unanimous Decision. Godspeed, you chubby Hawaiian emperor.

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